perfectly different

i always sit and think when will my time come for unconditional love & sky high happiness! but then i tell myself when God feels it is my time to experience those things, he will make it happen in my life. I walk around with a big smile on my face, trying my hardest to make the people in my life happy, but i don’t have any people in my life working there hardest to make me happy or trying to keep me happy. i have a lot of inconsistency from people in my life, but the good ones will stay & the bad ones will leave sooner than later. i give people my all, & get nothing in return. but i thank God for the strength he gives me everyday, because i believe i am one strong young lady with a lot about to happen in my life…

i have never loved someone so much in my life, i have never been so good to someone in my life either. i have never been so betrayed and lied to so much in my life. i gave you more than two years of my life, never once betrayed you or lied to you, but yet you lie to me everyday that we have ever been together. i feel played, belittled, hurt, everything. BUT then i realize it is my fault, i seen the pattern but i still chose to deal with it. I blame myself, but I know the bible says you reap what you sow (not in those exact words) and what goes around comes around. so you did me wrong, i guarantee someone will do you just as bad.i am always doing right by everything and everyone, but i am ALWAYS the one hurt in the end. i pray that God sends me someone who loves, and cherishes me to the fullest, also appreciates all the many things i have to offer. no matter how badly i have been treated in the past, i have never ever wanted to hurt someone back, so i know my blessing will come. also, kind of around the subject but i always see people who do wrong all day everyday, in a happy successful relationship and never struggling etc…but i look at myself a person who is always doing right, single and heartbroken, always struggling etc..i wonder why a lot?! But I would rather be unhappy now, then unhappy in my future, so i have to leave it all in Gods hands and let him work it out. 

0ut0ftheb0x:

(via lovepotionnumbernine)

so i was watching True Life & one of the guys mom died and it brought tears to my eyes because i was thinking like what would i do if i lost my mom. she is my world, my best friend, my everything. My friends constantly tell me that they envy me and my moms relationship, she is more of a best friend than a mom, yes she disciplines me but she gives me my freedom. I don’t know what i would do to without her. God forbid anything happen to her anytime soon, but i was just thinking about that! :D